First Step Back
"I've been on hiatus."
That was my response when Paul called and said, "Hey girl. You've been hiding."
Who calls someone they haven't talked to in years and begins a conversation like that? Paul---an itty-bitty, quirky, chatty patty who always called me out of the blue and asked questions that made my eyes roll. I met him a few years back while promoting a project at the newspaper company where he worked. Something told me not to answer the phone when I saw his name pop up on my celly, but I answered anyway. The call ended with me feeling some kind of way.
Life is good, so I don't appreciate calls like that. Calls that prompt me to think about the things I haven't been doing....but, probably should. Calls that prick the side of me that takes risks with some big dream that's going to cost me lots of time, effort, and money.... Calls that linger in my mind long after they've happened... Calls like Paul's. I have a real job, a beau.... I've gained a few pounds, but I'm not depressed about it...yet. I hate the gym, but I've kept the membership....just in case. I prefer to go for a jog...trot at the park when the sun's not up. I don't particularly like to sweat too much. I haven't been writing or producing or stressing over any of that SparKyL Entertainment stuff. I have just been going to my real job, eating carbs, and living life...a normal life.
Lately, though-- many things/people have just been agitating me. I'm talking about to the umpth degree. I haven't been praying, fasting, and seeking God the way I did before, so these agitations have just made me mad and annoyed and bitter and munchy. The latest agitation lingered long after a few French fries and a nap. I woke up just as angry, bitter, annoyed, and munchy as I was before I fell asleep. I contemplated making a call, sending a text, scheduling a meeting to fix things, but finally decided otherwise. Instead, I stared at my book case, pulled out my Bible and Stormie Omartian's Lead Me Holy Spirit, dusted them both off.....then immediately put them back on the shelf. It used to be easy for me to find comfort and inspiration and peace and motivation just by reading a good book and the Good Book. Now, it's not that easy...
Eventually, I calmed down... The things/people that have been agitating me have just been tools to push me out of hiding....and to push me into writing again, SparKyLing again... When life is normal, I settle, I sit, I eat....I camouflage myself and do nothing. Nothing makes me weak...and agitated. This, however, is my first step back.
And, I will figure out how to change the dark background...
That was my response when Paul called and said, "Hey girl. You've been hiding."
Who calls someone they haven't talked to in years and begins a conversation like that? Paul---an itty-bitty, quirky, chatty patty who always called me out of the blue and asked questions that made my eyes roll. I met him a few years back while promoting a project at the newspaper company where he worked. Something told me not to answer the phone when I saw his name pop up on my celly, but I answered anyway. The call ended with me feeling some kind of way.
Life is good, so I don't appreciate calls like that. Calls that prompt me to think about the things I haven't been doing....but, probably should. Calls that prick the side of me that takes risks with some big dream that's going to cost me lots of time, effort, and money.... Calls that linger in my mind long after they've happened... Calls like Paul's. I have a real job, a beau.... I've gained a few pounds, but I'm not depressed about it...yet. I hate the gym, but I've kept the membership....just in case. I prefer to go for a jog...trot at the park when the sun's not up. I don't particularly like to sweat too much. I haven't been writing or producing or stressing over any of that SparKyL Entertainment stuff. I have just been going to my real job, eating carbs, and living life...a normal life.
Lately, though-- many things/people have just been agitating me. I'm talking about to the umpth degree. I haven't been praying, fasting, and seeking God the way I did before, so these agitations have just made me mad and annoyed and bitter and munchy. The latest agitation lingered long after a few French fries and a nap. I woke up just as angry, bitter, annoyed, and munchy as I was before I fell asleep. I contemplated making a call, sending a text, scheduling a meeting to fix things, but finally decided otherwise. Instead, I stared at my book case, pulled out my Bible and Stormie Omartian's Lead Me Holy Spirit, dusted them both off.....then immediately put them back on the shelf. It used to be easy for me to find comfort and inspiration and peace and motivation just by reading a good book and the Good Book. Now, it's not that easy...
Eventually, I calmed down... The things/people that have been agitating me have just been tools to push me out of hiding....and to push me into writing again, SparKyLing again... When life is normal, I settle, I sit, I eat....I camouflage myself and do nothing. Nothing makes me weak...and agitated. This, however, is my first step back.
And, I will figure out how to change the dark background...
